"Code Blue! Code Blue! We have a major situation on our hands. Dispatch 'Emergency Response Team Alpha', 'Strike Team Charlie', and 'Containment Team Omega'. Once they're done, send in The Cleaners to make sure there's no residual issues."
"Are you sure all this is necessary, sir?"
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life; not even proposing to my wife. If we don't get this under control, we could have a major global crisis on our hands."
"But, sir, the last time ERT Alpha, ST Charlie, and CT Omega were called in on the same mission was back in '67 for the Bucharest Event. And The Cleaners have never been called in for a live mission, they've only been in training. Are you sure they are ready?"
"What do you think they have been training for, Lieutenant? This is a hundred times worse than the Bucharest Event, or any other event we could have anticipated. This is exactly the type of situation that The Cleaners have been formed and training for. But the ERT, ST, and CT must mobilize immediately if we are to have any hope of handling this situation. Can you imagine the backlash if civilians were to catch wind of this?"
"I'd rather not, sir."
Missionary Call
12 years ago
4 comments:
Huh?
I was so sure you were gonna say something about a diaper blowout. But now I'm wondering if you're quoting a movie I should know.
Topher’s Critique
I like this; I think Dave did very well here. This is a very good opening; we jump into the action immediately, we learn several important groups, and there’s suspense built on what manner of problem requires so many specialists. And that’s just in the first paragraph.
As the story progresses we’re given several additional bits of value. We see a few peaks at the author’s humor, we learn our two characters thus far are both officers, and we are given additional suspense when we read events requiring these groups are rare and this one is much worse than previous events. We’re also told this will be a first time experience for one of the groups. First time experiences are excellent material as they allow readers and writers to see characters shape and grow.
Last but not least one more bit to build suspense just before the cut off, the knowledge that not just our characters, but innocents may be in danger. That adds time tables, desperate acts of heroism, moral fiber, and so many other possibilities for the plot. Excellent work Dave I look forward to part two.
The emergency situation has no chance of surviving. It's being taken to the Cleaners. (Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.)
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