Everyone knows that Vader is Luke's father. Here's a little recap in case you have forgotten how the big reveal really went down, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away":
But what if the Big Reveal had taken place not-so-long ago, in a television studio near you:
MP: Hi, welcome back. I'm Maury Povich and today's special guest is Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. DV: Glad to be here today. MP: Now, Mr. Vader DV (interupting): Please, call me Lord Vader, or just Lord MP: Very well, Mr. Vader DV: LORD Vader MP: Mr. Vader, no need to get angry DV: Don't make me force throttle you! MP: Anyway, we'd like to bring out someone special from your past. DV (nervously): Padme, uh, what are you doing here? It's been like a year since we broke up. PA: No, WE didn't break up. YOU broke up with ME. DV: Baby, I'm sorry, but you gotta understand. It wouldn't have worked out. You were fighting for galactic freedom, and I was aspiring to be the supreme ruler of the universe PA: Whatever, I'm over it now. That's not why I'm here. DV: I'll say your over it. You sure didn't waste anytime. A child, even... PA: What are you talking about? Did Maury tell you why you're on the show? DV: He told me enough. He told me Obi-Won is the father. PA: No. You are the father. DV: NOOOOOOOOOO! PA: Search your feelings, you know it to be true. MP: That's right, Mr. Vad- (choking) okay, okay, sorry, LORD Vader, please stop choking me... DV: Very well MP: The real topic for today's show is "My Baby-Daddy is an Evil Super-Villain, and I want my Child Support" DV: Its, its, impossible! You can't prove nothin' PA: He even looks like you. DV: Impossible. I won't pay. You can't make me (audience): Maury! Maury! Maury! (Cut to commercial)
If, as the saying goes, you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer, where should you keep "frenemies"?
If you look at just the term "frenemy", it would make sense to keep them closer than your friends but not quite as close as your enemy, since it is kind of and in-between term.
However, if you examine the concept of a frenemy, it might be more appropriate to keep them even closer than your enemies because their thinly-veiled malice towards you could become a liability. So you would want to watch them even closer because, with an out-right enemy, you know they are going to try to harm your personage or character when ever they have a chance. But with a frenemy, they could maintain a facade of kindness and friendliness for many years until you least expect it, and then they release their full fury when your guard is down.
While I was taking a shower this afternoon, I had a thought (Hey! this is my thought. Don't be thinking about me in the shower, thou shalt not lust)
It is well known that I help more around the house than many (most?) other husbands and people have been known to get jealous about it.
My thought was, why is it, when people see this, they automatically think that Corrina is a control freak and forces me to do these things. Has anyone considered that maybe I'm the control freak and won't let Corrina do it so I can make sure it is done they way I want it done?
Many will say, "that's ridiculous, we know you're not like that" and my response is: the other scenario is equally ridiculous. It's a little something called communication and division of labor. We have talked about it and have decided on how to divide the tasks how they work best for us as a couple.
And the only reason I can see why anyone would care is because A) the wife wishes her husband could be as helpful as me, and B) the husband wishes I didn't make them look bad.
To this I say: maybe you need to talk with your spouse and make some changes. But above all, get over it and quit judging us for what works for us.
I know this is a little late, since Halloween s over and all. but I wanted to mention something. Back in the 15th Century lived the real life Dracula, AKA Vlad Dracul, the Impaler. This was one bad mama-jama. The below image is of him feasting whilst all around him hang the bodies of his enemies he has impaled. He was a person to fer and loathe.
Nowadays, however, we are stuck with this:
A cry-baby, emo teenager that sparkles. Vlad must be turning over in his (undead) grave.
Marvel and DC are the two biggest mainstream comic book companies in the United States.
DC is famous for heroes like Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, um... Robin?... OK, so that's all I got for DC.
Marvel is famous for heroes like the entire X-men Team, Iron Man (Red Robot, as Jaron calls him), The Incredible Hulk, Spiderman, The Fantastic Four, DareDevil, and the list goes on and on.
I was thinking about it today and I realized they have some fundamental differences and yet one very noticeable similarity: Iron Man and Batman. They were both child prodigies born to bazillionaire families, both have no actual super power (therefore, completely self made heroes) both use a ton of cool gadgets, that they invented themselves(!), both have special armour (granted, Iron Man armor is a little more all inclusive than Batman armor). Now, I'm not going to discount the differences. Batman is motivated by revenge while, (if the movie portrayal is accurate to the comic book) Iron Man is basically just a spoiled rich kid out for a good time (although there is the whole "my company has been selling my weapons to the bad guys, I have to atone for this", but he is still out there thinking "I'm flying around in a metal suit I made and that's friggin' awesome!")
Of the two of them, I think I definitely prefer Batman over Iron Man. Don't get me wrong, I think Iron Man is awesome, perhaps it is just because I have more exposure to Batman. The dichotomy is, however, I definitely prefer Marvel over DC any day of the week. I was never of fan of Superman (c'mon, he's an alien with super strength, laser vison, xray vision, can fly, etc. etc. etc. and the only way to kill him is with a space rock). Marvel heroes are all normal people that have had their powers thrust upon them (for the most part) by accident, usually involving radiation. The X-men, obviously, is caused by a genetic mutation, but they are still just trying to cope with the burden they've been given. Another big difference, when you think of superheroes with capes, you think of the DC camp: Superman, Batman,...um...does Green Lantern wear a cape? But I can't think of any Marvel hero that wears a cape. And, as Edna Mode pointed out to Bob Parr on Disney/Pixar's The Incredibles, capes are a bad idea, they get caught in jet engines, snagged on missiles, caught in elevators, etc.
So what do you think: If Iron Man and Batman were to get in a brawl, who would win? Why? My money is on Batman. Also, which is better, the Marvel Universe or the DC Universe? Discuss.
A couple weeks back I read an article online about a city council member somewhere in Eastern Europe was asked to resign because s/he was spending to much time playing Farmville on his/her city-provided laptop instead of paying attention in the meeting. As I read the comments, I saw comments about how stupid it was to get obsessed with their fake farm. Then someone (presumably a self-proclaimed geek) said how when non-geeks get obsessed over something, it’s usually something stupid and/or boring like fake farms, guns, or sports, etc. but when a geek gets obsessed with something, it’s something not boring (I can’t remember any examples that were enumerated). Several months back, I attempted to make fun of a friend by calling him a nerd (playfully, of course) which I was quickly corrected that he was a geek because geeks at least have a chance of getting married (he, btw, is currently married and has a couple kids). I didn’t fully understand the reasoning behind the rebuttal until I saw this Venn Diagram comparing geeks, nerds, dorks, and dweebs, at which time it made a lot more sense.
According to the diagram, a geek is defined by intelligence and obsession, while a nerd also has social ineptitude. So I got to thinking about these two, semi-unrelated events. To be a geek, you need to have a lot of intelligence and be obsessed with something. Are there any special qualifiers on the intelligence contingency? Does it have to be generalized intelligence or can it be specialized in one or two fields? If the latter is the case, then it could be debated that even “jocks” are “geeks” but sport-geeks because they are obsessed with sports and have a high level of intelligence of who’s on what team, rules, strategy, etc. for any and all sport the follow. Additionally, their could potentially be a gun-geek as well who is obsessed with fire-arms and knows a whole butt load about types, sizes, handling, etc.
On a personal note, recently I came to the realization that I, perhaps, am the only “average” person I know. All my life I have yet to find a group (“clique” if you will) with which I fully click. I have a wide range of interests from playing sports (basketball in particular) to outdoors activities (hiking, swimming, target shooting, camping, etc) to technology, video games, movies, etc. And yet I don’t feel fully comfortable among the jocks or the “cool” crowd because I don’t know that much about sports or whatever is of interest to the cool kids. i.e.: I feel to geeky to associate with the cool but likewise, sometimes I don’t feel geeky enough to fully mesh with the geeks. Yes, I like computers, video games, science, Star Wars, etc. but my knowledge of these subjects feels inferior to most of the geeks with which I hang, leaving me feel a little out of place. Therefore, I am right smack dab in the middle of both worlds; therefore, I am “average”. (This all sounded more profound and made more sense when I was ruminating about it at work). Any thoughts or advice out there? Feel free to comment and let me know.
In Honor of Pi Day (3.14) I've decided to post a few math and science jokes. Hopefully some will make you laugh, others will no-doubtedly make you groan. Enjoy:
Willie was a chemist, but Willie is no more For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4
A young man from a small, backwards town in the Ozarks received a scholarship to study math at a big university. The whole town was proud of him, seeing as he was the first in their long history to go to college. When he came back for Thanksgiving break during his first semester, the whole town through a big homecoming celebration for him. As part of the festivities, they asked him to stand up at the podium and share some of the great wisdom he was learning. He proudly proclaims "Pi R squared". To which his pa quickly rushes the podium, removing his belt, and beats his son to a pulp. The boy asks his pa what he did that for, the pa said "everybody knows pie are round, cake are squared."
This poem was written by John Saxon (an author of math textbooks). ((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0 Or for those who have trouble with the poem: A Dozen, a Gross and a Score, plus three times the square root of four, divided by seven, plus five times eleven, equals nine squared and not a bit more.
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.First, they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."The biologists: "They have reproduced".The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."
"A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there."– Charles Darwin
A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train."Aha", says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black.""Hmm", says the physician, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black"."No", says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"
What is π? Mathematician: "π is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."Engineer: "π is about 22/7."Physicist: "π is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."Computer Programmer: "π is 3.141592653589 in double precision."Nutritionist: "You one track math-minded fellows, Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
Some of you might remember this post from almost a year ago complaining about digital tv. I thought it would be appropriate to give a little update on that front.
It seems that, when it comes to digital tv antennae, you really do get what you pay for. At the time of the first post, I bought the cheapest, $10 antenna @ Wal-mart. It looked to be standard bunny ears with a knob to fine tune. Even in the summer on days w/o wind we would still get pixelation and a crappy digital signal. We constantly had to adjust the knob and recently, after the kids started bending and breaking the ears, to get the best reception you would lose one channel entirely but to get that one channel, the reception on the other channels would be horrendous. We finally decided to get a new antennae since the kids were destroying it. At Wal-mart we saw an antenna that had no bunny ear, just a flat disk that you rotate to fine tune it. then we saw a flat rectangle that said it had 360degree reception so no fine tuning necessary. BINGO! both of these were more expensive but we went with the rectangle. We plug it in and rescan and we gain 3 more channels we didn't have (granted they are the SD counterpart to the HD channels we already got, but still... its the principle of the matter) And the best part is...there has been little to none pixelating/bad recption on any channel! SCORE! so when it comes to DTV antennae, you definately get what you pay for.
With every passing day I begin to realize more and more just how much like my father I'm becoming. The evidence:
I have to carry a pen around with me everywhere I go
My joints, especially knees and ankles, creak and pop when I walk
I get my children's names confused
I listen to conservative talk radio
I wipe my children's snotty noses with the handerchief that I carry in my back pocket
I fall asleep in front of the TV no matter how much activity is going on around me
That's just what I've noticed lately...I'm sure I'll find more later. I guess you could call this belated Father's Day wishes since Father's Day was on Sunday.
And no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound? With so much ridiculousness happening in the federal gov't, I've been burned out and have desired to make a post on the lighter side. I tried to imagine the responses of professors in various departments of a university if they were asked the above question. I hope you enjoy:
Physics: sound is a compression wave through a medium. In a forest, the medium is air and the falling of a tree produces a longitudinal wave in the air, so yes, it does make a sound.
Psychology: Sound is as much propagation as it is perception. If there is no one around to perceive it, the sound never existed.
Engineering: Let's see if we can develop a better design for the tree to make it so it won't fall in the future under similar conditions.
Construction Management: If a tree fell in a forest with no one around, then it must be dead and rotting and we are not going to want to use that in our next construction project.
Child Development: Oh thank goodness there were no children around when it fell, we wouldn't want them to get hurt.
Sociology: To answer that, we will have to study the indigenous tribe that lives near where it fell and learn their reaction to falling trees.
Philosophy: Ahh, so the student has now become the teacher. I would have asked the same question.
Theology: God is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omniscient so yes the tree did make a sound, and God heard it.
Economics: is the tree located in a capitalistic or communistic economy?
Here's several ideas that I needed to get out of my head. In no particular order:
One radio show host I listen to occasionally was talking about the recent plane jacking. The culprit claims he wanted to commit suicide and was hoping to be shot down. This radio show host pointed out that the pilot was Muslim and it loked a lot like the dry runs the terrosists would have before actually attacking. If that's the case, we just proved to the terrorists that we won't do what we say we're going to do, namely, shoot down anyplanes that illegally enter US Airspace.
While B.O. was at the G-20 Summit, apparently he bowed to greet the king of Saudi Arabia. Additionally, the White House released an official statement saying it wasn't a bow. The Bible states: "By their fruits ye shall no them." B.O.'s fruits are becoming clear: his first public address after inauguration was on Arab TV addressed to Arabians, not even on American soil. He bows to the Saudi Arabian king. (Since when has the president bowed to other leaders, and then lied about it) He wants to mend relations with Communist Cuba...Is B.O. starting to show his true loyalties?
Liberals want everybody to drive electric cars to save the environment...How is the electricity generated to charge the batteries? In physics you learn of the Law of Conservation of Energy. Eergy can't be created out of nothing, it can only be transferred from one form to another...Aren't fossil fuels still being burned to generate the electricity to charge the cars?
And if "Global Warming" was a real threat, why hasn't the teleprompter told B.O. to outlaw racing: NASCAR, Stockcar, speedboat, etc. How much fuel is wasted during a single one of these events and how much "carbon emissions" are released? That should take care of the problem overnight.
But instead, B.O. is consulting with a scientist to use technology to alter the weather. That's right, this isn't some bad sci-fi plot. The 2 ideas they're discussing are shooting sulfur pellets into the upper atmosphere to mimic the sulfur emissions from a volcanoe that would then block the sun's rays, bouncing them back into space, or builing huge towers that would suck CO2 out of the aire and store it like a bunch of artificial trees. Does shooting sulfur into the sir really sound like a good idea? Wasn't this a plot from Inspector Gadget once to create another ice age?
Speaking of Inspector Gadget: I was ruminating about the cartoon earlier this week. I never saw the final episode but the rumor was that Chief Quimby was actually Dr. Claw and was disgruntled for always being blown up. So I decide to see what Wikipedia had to say on the topic and, among other things, led me to this site that revealed what his face looked like, and ruined childhood memories. If you want your childhood spoiled, visit with caution, Dr. Claw's face will be disappointing.
This is a video I took on a cheap video camera we let Jaron play with now. It was so cute. He loves fish, Itsy Bitsy Spider, I'm a Little Teapot, and the Pickle Dance (from Little Rascals). What's even cuter is the fact that he LOVES watching it...until he accidentally deleted it from the camera.
The Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 has mandated that all full-power television stations turn off their analog signals on February 17, 2009 and broadcast entirely in digital. As D-Day (for Digital) approached, Congress felt that people didn't have enough time to make the appropriate changes so they extended the deadline to June 12. As of sometime last year when they started advertising the converter box coupons, you heard nothing but good things: crystal-clear picture and sound, more channels, etc.The coupons would be redeemable for $40, yet at the time they set that price, they didn't even know how much a converter box would cost to purchase, they weren't being sold yet. Fears of the box costing much more than that were voiced by logical thinking people. When the boxes were put on the market, we were relieved to find out that they wouldn't cost much more than the forty so we got ours well ahead of the original deadline (how people didn't have enough time is beyond me...) I bring the box home and plug it in and discover my bunny ears won't fit the antenna jack. It turns out you ALSO needed a compatible antenna ($$). I run to Wal-mart and purchase the cheapest set of digital ready bunny ears by the best brand there. After getting it all set up and scan for channels, we discover that some of the stations hadn't converted to digital yet but we did gain the CW and a local weather channel (hurray, this dtv might not be that bad.) Before the digital switch we had ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, MYtv, PBS, and a few Spanish channels. When we first plugged in and scanned, we had CBS, CW (yeah), Fox, MYtv, NBC, and Weather. We lost PBS (boo) and still had ABC on analog, they hadn't switched yet. This was all in the summer/fall of 2008 when the weather was good. This winter, the first big rain storm in January, we lost CBS and CW and still haven't gotten them back. We find out that sometimes weaker digital signals can get cut off in snow or wind. How many fair weather days have we had and still no CBS/CW? Also, when its particularly windy, NBC gets very pixelated and sometimes loses signal. With Analog, if the signal is weak, you can still hear it, with digital, silence and/or choppy sound. How is digital better? Recently, they have had commercials explaining that you will also need a new, digital ready antenna and that you might even need a rooftop antenna (you know, the kind that sticks like a mile up in the air). Excuse me? What about those that live in apartments or, like my coworker, would have to pay a $100 deposit to put one of those up. How is digital better, now? And just this morning I heard on WSJ Radio that people may (uh...some already have) lose some local stations that used to receive because the digital signal could be weaker than the analog signal used to be. And broadcasters are under no obligation to maintain the same broadcast area when they switch. How is digital better? I want analog back!
In Honor of Pi Day (3.14) I've decided to post a few math and science jokes. Hopefully some will make you laugh, others will no-doubtedly make you groan. Enjoy:
Willie was a chemist, but Willie is no more For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4
A young man from a small, backwards town in the Ozarks received a scholarship to study math at a big university. The whole town was proud of him, seeing as he was the first in their long history to go to college. When he came back for Thanksgiving break during his first semester, the whole town through a big homecoming celebration for him. As part of the festivities, they asked him to stand up at the podium and share some of the great wisdom he was learning. He proudly proclaims "Pi R squared". To which his pa quickly rushes the podium, removing his belt, and beats his son to a pulp. The boy asks his pa what he did that for, the pa said "everybody knows pie are round, cake are squared."
This poem was written by John Saxon (an author of math textbooks). ((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0 Or for those who have trouble with the poem: A Dozen, a Gross and a Score, plus three times the square root of four, divided by seven, plus five times eleven, equals nine squared and not a bit more.
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.First, they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."The biologists: "They have reproduced".The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."
"A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there."– Charles Darwin
A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train."Aha", says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black.""Hmm", says the physician, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black"."No", says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"
What is π?Mathematician: "π is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."Engineer: "π is about 22/7."Physicist: "π is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."Computer Programmer: "π is 3.141592653589 in double precision."Nutritionist: "You one track math-minded fellows, Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
i was a little surprised at the lack of response to my last post, but then i realized that no one comments anyways. no shirley, it does not come from a movie you should know. it comes from the depths of my own mind. i know it is probably mediocre writing, but thats okay because i'm not chris (i don't mean that in ANY sort of negative way, just saying that i don't plan on ever writing a book, unless its like a drug reference book for other medical professionals, like a database of psychotropics and the most recent research about they're safety).
so corrina and i celebrated our 4th anniversary yesterday with little fanfare. i was gone at school and the pharmacy for most of the day but once i got done there, we were able to go out to dinner (without the kids, thank you grandma) and have some much anticipated steak. for those who don't know, while pregnant they say you can only have steak fully cooked (well-done) because of threat of bacteria, etc. Unfortunately well done usually tastes like charbroiled leather so we pretty much abstained for the 9months. since it was our anniversary, we went out to eat at a steak house and got the filet mignon cooked medium. oh so delicious. its hard to believe that 4 years have already passed and all the experiences we've experienced together.
oh yeah i'm still trying to figure out the whole posting a picture thing. i think i've discovered that if you move the picture in the post fter its been uploaded, you can no longer click on it to view it larger. i was experimenting and uploaded some photos (i've deleted the post, it was just an experiment) and even tho i uploaded them size large, the only one that was linked was the one i didn't move. also, does anyone know how to post more than 5 pictures in a single posting?
prepare to be amazed at the amazement of this next amazing post. ok so i don't really hve a post to knock your socks off about. i could share corrina's birth story, but maybe i should leave that for corrina to publish :-). it had been a few days since i last posted and i felt obligted to make people aware that i still exist. still trying to figre out how to embed video from youtube. i've never had a problem on myspace (which i no longer use)
is anybody even reading this blog? i haven't received any comments on my last few posts and i'm beginning to wonder if people even care or if i'm just boring. i guess you could call me a feedback-monger, but i want to know what people think
