Happy Pi Day

In Honor of Pi Day (3.14) I've decided to post a few math and science jokes. Hopefully some will make you laugh, others will no-doubtedly make you groan. Enjoy:

Willie was a chemist, but Willie is no more
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4

A young man from a small, backwards town in the Ozarks received a scholarship to study math at a big university. The whole town was proud of him, seeing as he was the first in their long history to go to college. When he came back for Thanksgiving break during his first semester, the whole town through a big homecoming celebration for him. As part of the festivities, they asked him to stand up at the podium and share some of the great wisdom he was learning. He proudly proclaims "Pi R squared". To which his pa quickly rushes the podium, removing his belt, and beats his son to a pulp. The boy asks his pa what he did that for, the pa said "everybody knows pie are round, cake are squared."

This poem was written by John Saxon (an author of math textbooks). ((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0 Or for those who have trouble with the poem: A Dozen, a Gross and a Score, plus three times the square root of four, divided by seven, plus five times eleven, equals nine squared and not a bit more.

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.First, they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."The biologists: "They have reproduced".The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."

"A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there."– Charles Darwin

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train."Aha", says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black.""Hmm", says the physician, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black"."No", says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"

What is π?Mathematician: "π is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."Engineer: "π is about 22/7."Physicist: "π is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."Computer Programmer: "π is 3.141592653589 in double precision."Nutritionist: "You one track math-minded fellows, Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"