Nostalgia

We are starting the process of scanning a bunch of old pictures and transferring negatives to CD so I decided to post some of the ones I found amusing (if not a little embarrassing):

Any guesses on if this is Will or me? It took Corrina and I a while to figure it out.

Any body remember this big, black behemoth? I learned to drive in this thing

Ah, yes. The skim board Will and I made as a scout activity to prepare for a camping trip to the beach.


Will and I again. Can you believe we would fool people into thinking we were twins?

When Corrina first saw this, she thought it was Gary...Can I pretend that she was right? :-)

There's not much to say about this

This was a fun hike! Look at this group of guys that went.

Will trying to act all serious 'cuz he's on staff...I think that's a dead rattlesnake he's carrying.

Family photo circa 1999 (Wes is on his mission)

Our Family, circa 1997 (I would be 14 yrs old)

Ben Saunders, Gary, Will and I when Will, Ben, and I were on staff for Camporee

circa 1999

A "Special" Connection

This is a somewhat revealing post into mine and Dave's personal life...but something I wanted to share. Dave and I have been seeing a marriage counselor for a few months...something that we now feel almost every couple can benefit from in one way or another. When we started, it was at the advice of our Bishop because we had been going through a difficult time. *Note: we were not considering leaving each other, just having trouble feeling connected and the like. We thought it was best since what we were doing was not working, so we needed better ideas. Our problems were not surprising due to the abuse I have suffered in my past and my post-partum depression, and experiences that Dave has been through as well. The counselor had suggested at the beginning that we read a book by Dr Hartmen called The People (used to be called Color) Code. We have glanced through it and thought we were the colors our counselor had first suggested. The counselor has been focusing on the traumas that have occurred in my life to help me move past them so that I can build a better relationship with Dave. We had been feeling that we were making some progress, just not as much as we thought.
This week I decided I would actually read the book. It has you take a quiz at the beginning to help determine what color you are. I called my mom for help because I was having a hard time with it. In the end, I realized I was not the "Blue" person as first thought, but "Red." When I read the Red section, I felt a tremendous amount of relief, like I had finally found myself. As I read more about the other colors, I started wondering if Dave was really the color we first thought of. He had taken the quiz before and determined he was "White." We decided that we would do the test together for him. I read the quiz, mixing up the choices, and he would answer. We made a big discovery, Dave was "Yellow." He felt along the same lines as I did when he read his section as well. All of a sudden we felt this huge relief about our relationship as we realized we were doing the wrong things for each other and now we knew what we needed to do. It was not the counselors fault that we had the wrong colors, it was our fault for not "really" doing our homework. We recommend this book to everyone. It can help with any relationship (family, friends, etc).
Anyways, onto the "Special" connection. Dave and I love to debate. We realized this was "natural" once we really discovered ourselves. We liked to debate so much that people would confuse this for bickering, arguing, disagreeing, etc. Because of the responses we were getting, we thought we were doing something wrong and have been not "debating" as we used to do. I believe this has led to part of the reason we had lost our "connection." We use this gift of ours to feel alive and feel connected to each other. When we had finished our debate, we did not feel angry or frustrated with each other, we felt "connected." I bring this up because I want to let everyone know, DAVE AND I WILL BE DEBATING AGAIN! So don't be concerned or worried, and don't judge us. Just know that we are creating a healthy relationship for ourselves. And if you see a couple "arguing," just see how they are acting towards each other when they are done. Maybe they are just debating and are doing what helps them "connect."

If You Didn't Notice...

All the drooly pictures below...well most of them are. Lara was drooling up a storm at her photo shoot. We thought she had been teething, but nothing had came through. When Dave came home from Lara's Dr's appointment, he said that the Dr had not felt any teeth. I reminded him about the last time she said that and the 2 teeth that came through not to long after. I kept feeling for teeth, but then missed a few days of checking. Monday I'm at the Institute talking to the Support Specialist and she mentions the drooling. As I'm talking to her about how Lara had 7 teeth by 7 months but not one since, I check Lara's mouth and low and behold...There's Another Tooth! That makes 8 now. It's the fourth tooth on the bottom, so now she's no longer lopsided and her bottom teeth will soon match her top teeth (must wait for it to fully come in). Yep...she's quite the teether. Maybe that's why she was waking up so much at night...more sleep ahead for Mommy and Daddy? Probably not...some her molars may be coming in.

Jaron and the Duckies

Last Tuesday, Corrina and I dropped Jaron and Lara off at our friends' house to watch them while we went to an appointment. They live (lived, currently moving to another house) next to creek so their son (age 8ish) raised some ducks from eggs. Jaron loves the ducks, from a distance, but if they approach him, he freaks out (as with any animal). We got their a little early and our friend hadn't got back yet but Jaron wanted to see the duckies. I let him see the duckies and tried to help him overcome his fear. When we came back afterwards, he wanted to feed the duckies srawberries and chase them all over the place. Hallelujah, it worked! Or so we thought. That night, @ 1 or 2 in the morning, he woke up screaming and crying and wouldn't calm down. I had to hold him til he fell asleep. We just couldn't figure it out. Then the next morning when I got home from work, he wanted to keep his door closed and we couldn't figure it out. Then at nap time, he started freaking out because the duckies were in his room. He even told me that one had bit his foot. Cute but sad. And we have been dealing with that since. Fortunately, I just have to hug him while he stands on his bed until he decides to lay down, and then there's no problem. We have decided to just let the duckies disappear on Jaron's terms. They are in his mind and very real so there's not going to be anything we can do to make him imagine them differently. But it is funny that during the day he still has to keep his door closed so the duckies can't get out. And he hasn't reported any more bites since that first night. So I guess we can let them stay :-)

Lara Is 9 Months Old...My How Time Flies

2 weeks ago our little princess turned 9 months old. That's just crazy! How did she grow up so quickly? Well...she did and she is not waiting for us to catch up.

At her 9 month check up, she weighed 19 lbs 8 oz and is 30 inches long. As her Doctor put it, she is as tall as a 2 year old. Jaron is just over half a foot taller than Lara. We'll see if she catches up to him or if she starts slowing down.

Lara is moving with a quickness all over the place now. We can't keep her still, she loves exploring.


Lara cruises (walks) around furniture. She'll even let go and stand on her own for a few seconds. She also stands up by herself, just using furniture, etc to keep her balance. We've even caught her a few times trying to stand herself up without the use of something for balance. She has been successful a couple of times.

Lara does not want to miss a thing. If we go somewhere new, she will forgo breastfeeding because she must see everything. If Dave or I go somewhere, she wants to go too
...especially if it's Daddy and Jaron are going because that must be something fun and exciting that she would miss.
Biting and hair pulling is something our little miss finds humorous. Jaron even tries to get Lara to bite him, which is soooo not helping in trying to get her to stop.

Lara has taken up bullying other babies. She sees, she crawls, she tackles (or bites or pulls hair). She learned this from her big brother. Though I don't like her doing it to other babies, I can't wait until she's able to defend herself against Jaron. I hope I will be able to capture that with the camcorder...because it's going to be hilarious.

Lara is really starting to look like her Mommy (but has more of her Daddy's forehead). I have been hearing from more and more people that she looks just like me. It's funny, because at first I thought she looked like Daddy. Then we pulled out my baby pictures, and sure enough...it's me. She does have her Daddy's ears and I'm thinking Grandma Linda's nose.




Lara is our happy, bouncing (she loves to do it all the time), beautiful princess. We just love her and all the excitement (and calm) she brings.

Indifference

Today I received an email from my grandparents (my real-father's parents) that said "Your Dad!!!" in the subject line. My first reaction, before reading the email, was, "Is he dead?" Thoughts of a drug overdose crossed my mind. All the body of the email said was to call them collect. I used our cell phone, so no collect call. My grandma answered and I asked what was going on. She told me my dad has cancer in his spine and it's terminal. She explained that it has spread and that it's too far along for chemo, so the doctor's are setting him up with morphine that he can administer at home. The doctor has given him a year to live, but my grandma thinks it will be less (she is a nurse...she does have some knowledge of these things). Was I filled with grief or sadness?, no. Was I angry or happy?, no. I could tell that my grandma was crying at several points, but still nothing on my end. I'm not sure what I am feeling, so I'm labeling it indifference. This is a man I have not had contact with in almost 20 years. Since my parent's divorced when I was 5, there really has not been much contact, but my mom took us to visit him when I was 9. In a way, I would like to go see him...maybe for closure. But what do I say?... "Sorry you're dying." I do have some good memories of him, but they are plagued with memories that are not good. I didn't really expect this. I thought it would be that once my grand-parents passed, all ties would pretty much be gone. Hmmm...it would be a nice road trip...seeing as they live in Montana. We'll see what we do.

PCAT

I finally got my PCAT scores. They actually came in the mail while we were in Sacramento and they were waiting in the mailbox when we got home late Saturday night. This is the first opportunity I've had to do any blogging. The company that gives the test just provides the scores, they don't interpret them in any way because each school that requires the PCAT decides on their own what kinds of scores they will accept. So here they are. I will list the category and the percentile
Verbal Ability 95
Biology 88
Reading Comprehension 73
Quantitative Ability 84
Chemistry 68
Composite (overall) 88

Writing Scores:
Conventions of Language 3.0
Problem Solving 3.0
(both of those scores are above the mean score for all tests taken that day at that location, but I can't remember what the max score possible is)