Elder in Exile

Let me preface this by saying I'm not a whiner and (most of the time) trust in the the Lord's inspiration when the bishop extends a calling. The only time I have ever asked to be released from a calling was when the bishop called me to be a YM leader without releasing me from the Nursery first. Anyway,...

In the less than 6 years we've been married, we have lived in 3 different wards (2 different stakes) and I have been called into the nursery in each of those wards. The first time, we had been married about a year and the ward had a lot of nursery children so I had a blast paying with all of them. And, because there were so many kids, we had several leaders, who were all cool and we had fun hanging out together those 2 hours.

The second time I was called into the nursery, we had just barely moved to a new stake and a new ward and it was just my wife and I in the nursery and, on a good Sunday, a maximum of 3 kids. Not so much fun. Then, my wife got pregnant and had a hard time with morning sickness so several Sundays we had nursery in the foyer of the church so my wife could relax on the couch. By the time my wife was ~8mos pregnant, they called me into the YM's organization and still had not released us. That's when (as mentioned earlier) we asked when we were going to be released.

A couple years down the road now and about a month before our youngest turned 18mos (and therefore eligible for Nursery), lo and behold, I get called into the nursery of our third (and current) ward. At first I didn't mind it and was having a blast playing with all the kids. The kids love me and the other leaders (sisters) are always commenting how the kids love me (its because I get involved and play with them, and not just sit and watch them and make sure they don't do anything they're not supposed to).

As I said, at first I didn't mind it, and both my kids love having me there, but then a couple weeks ago I had an epiphany that has dramatically affected how I view my calling. I realized that it kinda sucks that, just when I was about to have a  break from them and be able to listen and participate in lessons, I get pulled away from the chance to meet and associate with my peers in SS and EQ and am sent into exile and sequestering watching kids run around for two hours. After this thought came to my head, I started to wonder if I should explain how I feel to the bishop and ask to be release or just bide my time. And then I feel bad because we are ingrained that we shouldn't feel/think like this when it comes to church callings and they always talk about how hard it is to call people to the nursery. I don't want to sound ungrateful (or whatever the right term is) and ask to be released because the other three nursery workers (all sisters) have been in there far longer than me (one is even the bishop's wife) and I don't want to place the burden of finding a replacement back on the bishop sooner than he was ready. And I don't want it to look like I don't think the Bishop was inspired to call me there in the first place.

So there you have it. Now I sound like a whiner and a complainer. :-) Other than the standard "find a way to enjoy it, because God has a purpose in mind" advice, what other thoughts are there on this matter?

Star Wars Apologetics

a·pol·o·get·ics  (ə-pŏl'ə-jět'ĭks)   
n. (used with a sing. verb) 

1. 
   
   The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines.
2. Formal argumentation in defense of something, such as a position or system.
   

So the other day I discovered that scientists named a recently discovered bacterial species after midi-chlorians (from Star Wars). I saw a discussion about it and one of the comments was something along the lines of "Great, now I'm going to have to pretend it doesn't exist, too." 

A sentiment (and one of many criticisms of the prequel trilogy) that seems to be common among many SW fans is that there is a big anachronism between how the Force is described in the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy. viz.:

In ANH (A New Hope, Episode IV) Obi-Wan Kenobi explains the Force to young Luke Skywalker thus:

The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

 However, in TPM (The Phantom Menace, Episode I), Qui-Gon Jinn explains to young Anakin Skywalker that: 

Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to us, telling us the will of the Force. When you learn to quiet your mind, you'll hear them speaking to you.

Essentially, they were a symbiotic bacteria that lived inside the cells of all creatures, etc. 


Right from the start, looking at the two quotes, I can see a distinct difference. Obi-Wan was talking about the Force, itself, while Qui-Gon was explaining how it is possible to feel the Force. But as I was thinking about this at work this morning, I didn't have the luxury of having the quotes right in front of me so I realized something along a different line of thought. When Qui-Gon was explaining the Force, he was living in the Golden Age of the Republic where knowledge flowed freely and technology was continually advancing. While Obi-Wan was explaining it, the universe had more-or-less fallen into a "Dark Ages" similar to the Medieval Era of European history. A lot of the former knowledge had been forgotten or tainted, descended into realms of legend or myth, while the advent of technology had stagnated. Whether Obi-Wan, in his old age, simply forgot the previous light and knowledge he once had as a Jedi Knight in the Golden Age of the Republic, or he purposefully withheld the more complete and advanced information regarding the Force, it is unclear but if it was the latter, like I suspect it probably would be, the circumstances they were in were obviously not ideal for an in-depth lesson on history, science, etc., a much simpler, basic answer was sufficient for their needs. They were en route to the enemy base to go on a fool-hardy mission to rescue a princess from the enemy while they were on the ship of a smuggler that they had met earlier that day. Luke needed basic lessons on how to listen to the force and use a light-saber, not a detailed lesson on why they can hear the force. He needed a how not why explanation and I think Obi-Wan did a fine job of it, given the circumstances.


(P.S. if you can't tell, I'm one of the type of fans who actually really liked the prequel trilogy. Yes, I understand the negatives {Jar-Jar Binks must die!} but as a whole, I thought they were good to round out the story. Also, I'm also a fan of the changes GL made for the 1995 re-release and the DVD release. As GL has said, the changes he made were what he would have done had he had the resources back then. The DVD version is the version he had envisioned all along.)

Lara Hits A Big Milestone!

Today Lara poo poo'd in the potty! Lara has been sitting on the potty for a while now. Today she started squatting into position and Dave saw her and asked if she wanted to poo poo in the potty. She said yes, so he put her on the potty and she did it! Of course we forgot to take a picture of her big achievement (sitting on the potty, not of the actual poo). She is trying to show her big brother up. All he has done is sit on the potty...well he has pee'd in it before, but that was months ago. Whenever we ask him if he wants to go on the potty, he tells us no. Once we run out of diapers for him we're not giving him the choice anymore. That's going to be fun times =) Isn't it great how as parents it's ok for us to talk about pee and poop like its no big deal?
I guess I should stop stocking up on diapers for Lara if she's going to keep this up. Is it wrong of me to hope that she waits a while longer before potty training completely because of the stockpile of diapers I have for her?

Keeping the Sabbath Holy

So, where do you draw the line?

The Wifey and I minutes ago had a quick discussion about cleaning and keeping the Sabbath Day holy. She mentioned how it was strange that one of the only times she really feels strong motivation to clean the house is on Sunday when it is her personal belief that cleaning and chores like that are breaking the Sabbath. I, on the other hand, am a little more lenient and don't have a problem doing those things. Oddly enough, I don't think its OK to do laundry at a laundromat (or the apartment complex's laundry room ) but am fine doing laundry if you have a washer/dryer in your home. Even more oddly, my wife recently started couponing and having me go out Sunday morning to buy multiple copies of the newspaper for the coupons inside. I don't have a problem using the vending machines to do that (and today I even had to go inside a convenience store to get the last copies she needed. I know, sinner!) :-) So I'm wondering where everyone else draws the line. Is it okay to clean on the Sabbath? Do laundry? What are your thoughts and feelings?

Feeling Judged - In My Head Or For Real

A couple days ago my husband wrote a blog post called Brethren, Love Your Wives. In it, he expresses his appreciation for me and thoughts on where he would be without me. During, and after, reading it, I found myself not being able to appreciate what was said about me. Instead several thoughts crossed my mind such as, "Everyone thinks I am so lazy, they'll never believe what he is saying about me." How awful it is that instead of feeling lifted, loved and appreciated, I feel put down, alone and judged. My mom would say it's just in my head. I would have to agree if it wasn't for the fact I know people have said things behind my back. I've even been accused of not wanting to be a mother to my children, a comment that makes my heart ache, and makes the already harsh feeling towards myself, for not being able to take care of my children the way I wish I could, more intense.
Why is it we are so judgemental of others? Instead of trying to help out or find out what is really going on, we make snap judgements about what we see and let that affect our treatment of others. I know I have been guilty of this, and maybe that is why this is my trial. I need to remember the feelings I am going through so that I will refrain from doing the same to others.
It has been a trying several years, especially this last year. I never thought that child birth and recovery would be so hard on me. I never thought that I would go through some of the challenges I'm facing. I was once told, "You have your work cut out for you." I thought I knew what he meant at the time, and I'm realizing I have no clue. I realized I have been so caught up in wanting everything to go smoothly and quickly, but nothing in my life has ever been smooth and quick. Sometimes one or the other, but not both. You would think I would be use to it by now. I thought the trials I have already been through would be the hardest trials I would have to overcome, and this last year I was given a harder one. I'm sure it won't be the hardest trial I'll go through either.
I have been blessed with the ability to put on a "happy face." Though sometimes it feels more like a curse. People think I live a "perfect" life, never having a hardship or sad experience. I think I grew tired of it and let down my mask quit a few times the last couple of years. Maybe it's time to make my life seem "perfect" again. I don't think very many people like the "un-happy face" Corrina.
I think I've rambled on long enough. This was probably more cathartic for me than anything else. But I will end this post like this:
It's almost Father's Day and instead of focusing on how he would like to be appreciated, my husband decides to showcase me. Maybe he wanted to show others that what they may perceive as our relationship may not be the reality. Until my pregnancy with Jaron, I was the one who supported Dave. While others told him that he could not accomplish his goals, I was there to encourage him. It was not easy for him, I was not sure he could do it, but I did not let him know my doubts. Instead I gave him a shoulder to cry on and took care of things so that he did not have to worry. Since my pregnancy with Jaron, Dave has had to support me. He has been the one to take care of things while I've suffered. He has struggled, and most of the time he probably felt like a single parent. He has not complained about me. He has felt overwhelmed, and at those moments I was able to support him again by giving him an ear to listen and words of encouragement. There will come a time when it will be my turn to support him fully again.
I would be remiss if I did not recognize the true reason we have been able to make it through our trials, our Heavenly Father. He has provided the way for us to survive and make it through. Without Him, we would not be where we are today.
I'm truly fortunate to have a husband who cares greatly about me and puts me before himself. Even my mom reminds me of that when I forget, lol. I'm so thankful he is my companion and the father of my children. I'm glad that while the world may judge me, he does not listen to their negativity and continually praises me, even while they try to convince him that I do not praise him enough. I love you honey! We'll make it through this season of our life despite the criticism and judgement of others. I'm so thankful for your ability to ignore their attacks and focus on what is truly important. Thank you for your kind words and service, thank you for caring, thank you for being my husband.

WoW - Use of Tobacco

I was thinking about the Word of Wisdom (WoW, not World of Warcraft) recently and the focus of my thought process was led to the section on tobacco. I've always thought it interesting that it says: "And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill." (D&C 89:8) What does it mean to be used for bruises? I bang my shins up quite often at work and have what I call "perma-bruises" They just don't seem to go way. They're not painful or tender or anything, just a permanent darkened area that looks like a bruise. So I was wondering, could I just go buy a can of Skoal or Redman and rip off a plug and slap it on my shin? How does it help sick cattle? What does it men to be used with judgement and skill? Does that only refer to the sick cattle part or the bruise part also?


I decided to search online to see if I could find anything. I was able to find a couple sources about it but it was mostly just discussion board chatter. However, this news article describes the research of a doctor back in the '80s regarding it, and it does seem that he was finding evidence that distilled tobacco juice healed bruises 20% faster than non-treated bruises, but they had no clue as to what substance in the bruise could be causing it.


Websites about using tobacco for sick cattle was even scantier and many of the top responses to the Google Search "tobacco sick cattle" were critical of the church. But as I delved a little deeper into the search results, I did find some talk on a couple discussion boards about it. Does anyone have any better insight into this passage in the Word of Wisdom?

Brethren, Love Your Wives

(cross-posted on "Behold, It is Written...")

This is the title to an article in the July 1981 Ensign by Elder James E Faust. In it, he relates a time when Elder Boyd K. Packer asked him "What would you have been without your wife?" His immediate answer could have been "not much" but he chose to ponder and reflect upon that question for the next twenty-four hours before giving a full, self-honest answer. Although we've only been married less than 6 years, and we don't have a far-from-perfect marriage, I have often reflected on that vary question. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be much with out Corrina. She has given me direction, motivation, drive, and without her I would still be living with my parents, going to ARC, not really knowing what I wanted to do when I eventually got a degree from some university, somewhere (probably CSUS). I don't know what kind of job I would have and I would probably still rely on my parents' cars to get me where I need to go (why would I buy one myself when I could just use what's readily available for free?) To parrot Elder Faust's response: "I would have to answer honestly that without my wife I would have been pretty much a failure." Thanks to Corrina, I have completed a bachelor's degree, in the process of applying for pharmacy schools, and I know what area of expertise I want to specialize in.

The most sacred, intimate, and blessed relationship of life is between husband and wife. I do not love anybody like I love my wife. My mother has father, and my children have their companions, but Ruth is me. Our wives become part of us, and they become like our own flesh—and as Paul counseled, we should love them as such. (See Eph. 5:28–33.) The simple truth is that it is not good for man to be alone. The greatest sustaining influence in my mature life has been the constant supporting, unqualified, unreserved love I have felt for my wife. The sacred relationship with my wife has been the supreme benediction of my life. I just can’t imagine what my life would have been like without having had that blessing.

I struggle with this concept and I know I'm a horrible husband sometimes, but so far Corrina continues to stand by my side, pushing me to be a better husband, father, and person.

"One of the areas in which our wives perform a very great service is in their loving discipline of us. In their discipline they keep us closer to what we ought to be in our holy callings. In their discipline they teach us. It is part of the polishing we need to fill in the holes in our character and smooth the rough edges and make us more adequate. Together we are a team—we are one." Ain't that the truth! I admit that Corrina is WAY more spiritual than I could ever hope to be and she is the one that always pushes me to magnify my callings the best I can.

Elder Faust then relates about President N. Eldon Tanner:

President N. Eldon Tanner’s daughter, Isabel, says about her father, which with his knowledge I share, “When Mother married Daddy he was just a farm boy.” But she went on to say that when Sister Tanner would give him a loving suggestion, unlike many men who bridle or argue when their wives tell them something that is good for them, he would simply say, “If you think that’s what I should do, I’ll do it.”

I definitely have a lot to learn from President Tanner.I urge every man reading this to heed the words of Elder Faust:

Perhaps in these times of great stress we can become what we ought to be in our relationships with our wives. Perhaps the eternal “every day” causes some of us to be more casual than we ought to be. Of course, we love our wives, but perhaps we take them for granted too much of the time. Perhaps too often we fail to express our appreciation to them in little ways. I know I do. We could certainly show more affection and always look upon our companions with love and respect. We can surely be polite and courteous if we try. We can nourish and cherish them.

I love my wife, Corrina, more than words can describe. Unfortunately, actions speak louder than words and I don't do a very good job of showing it either. But, as I strive to follow the examples of Elder Faust and President Tanner, I hope that I can make it so not a day goes by without Corrina feeling the love I have for her. What can you do to improve your relationship?