This is the title to an article in the July 1981 Ensign by Elder James E Faust. In it, he relates a time when Elder Boyd K. Packer asked him "What would you have been without your wife?" His immediate answer could have been "not much" but he chose to ponder and reflect upon that question for the next twenty-four hours before giving a full, self-honest answer. Although we've only been married less than 6 years, and we don't have a far-from-perfect marriage, I have often reflected on that vary question. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be much with out Corrina. She has given me direction, motivation, drive, and without her I would still be living with my parents, going to ARC, not really knowing what I wanted to do when I eventually got a degree from some university, somewhere (probably CSUS). I don't know what kind of job I would have and I would probably still rely on my parents' cars to get me where I need to go (why would I buy one myself when I could just use what's readily available for free?) To parrot Elder Faust's response: "I would have to answer honestly that without my wife I would have been pretty much a failure." Thanks to Corrina, I have completed a bachelor's degree, in the process of applying for pharmacy schools, and I know what area of expertise I want to specialize in.
The most sacred, intimate, and blessed relationship of life is between husband and wife. I do not love anybody like I love my wife. My mother has father, and my children have their companions, but Ruth is me. Our wives become part of us, and they become like our own flesh—and as Paul counseled, we should love them as such. (See Eph. 5:28–33.) The simple truth is that it is not good for man to be alone. The greatest sustaining influence in my mature life has been the constant supporting, unqualified, unreserved love I have felt for my wife. The sacred relationship with my wife has been the supreme benediction of my life. I just can’t imagine what my life would have been like without having had that blessing.
I struggle with this concept and I know I'm a horrible husband sometimes, but so far Corrina continues to stand by my side, pushing me to be a better husband, father, and person.
"One of the areas in which our wives perform a very great service is in their loving discipline of us. In their discipline they keep us closer to what we ought to be in our holy callings. In their discipline they teach us. It is part of the polishing we need to fill in the holes in our character and smooth the rough edges and make us more adequate. Together we are a team—we are one." Ain't that the truth! I admit that Corrina is WAY more spiritual than I could ever hope to be and she is the one that always pushes me to magnify my callings the best I can.
Elder Faust then relates about President N. Eldon Tanner:
President N. Eldon Tanner’s daughter, Isabel, says about her father, which with his knowledge I share, “When Mother married Daddy he was just a farm boy.” But she went on to say that when Sister Tanner would give him a loving suggestion, unlike many men who bridle or argue when their wives tell them something that is good for them, he would simply say, “If you think that’s what I should do, I’ll do it.”
I definitely have a lot to learn from President Tanner.I urge every man reading this to heed the words of Elder Faust:
Perhaps in these times of great stress we can become what we ought to be in our relationships with our wives. Perhaps the eternal “every day” causes some of us to be more casual than we ought to be. Of course, we love our wives, but perhaps we take them for granted too much of the time. Perhaps too often we fail to express our appreciation to them in little ways. I know I do. We could certainly show more affection and always look upon our companions with love and respect. We can surely be polite and courteous if we try. We can nourish and cherish them.
I love my wife, Corrina, more than words can describe. Unfortunately, actions speak louder than words and I don't do a very good job of showing it either. But, as I strive to follow the examples of Elder Faust and President Tanner, I hope that I can make it so not a day goes by without Corrina feeling the love I have for her. What can you do to improve your relationship?
