excerpts from "The Manual for Beginning Sith Apprentices"

Lesson 21: The Lightsaber

At this point in your training, you should already have received your new Sith lightsaber. "What is the difference between a Sith lightsaber and the Jedi version of the same?" you ask? Nothing really. They both work the same, just the blde is red instead of blue, green, white, etc. You will receive hands on training from your Sith Lord, but one word of caution must be given: Be careful where you swing that thing. You wouldn't want to lose an arm or an eye or anything. But you might protest that they can be replaced. Rightfully so; however, under strict decree of a synod of Sith Lords that took place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, any apprentice removing their own limb, accidentally or otherwise, will lose lightsaber privileges for 6 Coruscant months. One final note for those apprentices anxious for a promotion: just remember, the only way to be promoted is if your master gets killed (wink,wink)

excerpts from "The Manual for Beginning Sith Apprentices"

Introduction:

Welcome to the Dark Side and Congratulations on becoming an apprentice. This is your first step on a path that will lead to glory and Galactic Domination. This manual provides lessons that are essential in perfecting your skill as a Sith Apprentice. Let us begin:

Lesson 1, Using the Jedi Mind Trick for Purposes of Evil, not Good (level basic):

It is assumed that you have joined the Dark Side after already receiving some training in the ways of the Jedi. This lesson attempts to master a most basic skill in a manner more acceptable for a Sith. It is assumed that you already know how to use the Jedi Mind Trick, so this manual won't cover that portion. The setting for this lesson is the local Cantina. Enter and initiate a conversation with the bartender similar as follows:

"Give me a cold one."

"let me see some ID."

"You don't need to see my ID."

"I don't need to see your ID."

"It was rude to ask for my ID."

"It was rude of me to ask for your ID, you're clearly old enough."

"Apologize for your rudeness."

"You'll have to excuse me for my rudeness. It has been a long week and a lot of minors attempting to get drunk."

"This drink is on you."

"In fact, to make up for it, this drink's on me."

"A round for everyone."

Hey everyone, this round's on me."

You can probably get the picture and carry this whatever direction you choose. If you were successful in obtaining a free drink, Congratulations! You are progressing nicely down the path of the dark side. If you were not successful, are you sure you're cut out for the dark side? Better luck next time.